Direction, Confidence, and a Reason to Move: 

Why We Set Goals

October 13, 2026

I recently went into one of those Children’s Role-Playing Centers.  It’s a play area where children can identify with various occupations.  In a banquet-size room there are play areas set up with real-life stations.  One area would have a grocery store, another a fire-station, a makeshift kitchen in another etcetera etcetera. The children go from playing to becoming in a matter of minutes.  A five-year-old doesn’t walk into the mechanic station and say, “I’m going to stand here and contemplate my current competencies.”  They see themselves as the mechanic!

Watching those imaginations crank is a great joy for me.  Their delight is genuine when a loosely uniformed clerk hands over a three-scoop ice cream cone to a playful parent.

Question:

There are many doors in front of you as you stand in your very own Role-Playing Center for Adults.  Which door would you gravitate towards?  

Knowing that no resumes will be needed or requirements needed, what stations would be behind those doors?  What identities would they have?  A jet pilot? A parent? A CEO?

After some time musing you are standing in front of one door.  One beautiful door, tailored to you.  Why did you choose that door?  Something inside you wants the experience on the other side.

We know that a goal takes something that exists in our imagination and asks the bold question, “What would have to happen for me to stop pretending?”

Opening the door is simply giving yourself permission to do it.  That doesn’t mean the work afterword is easy-peasy.  But doors are.  Realizing you are in control of the door is half the work.  The second half of work is, well, work.  But putting a goal behind it makes it easier.  So much easier. 

Let’s explore five reasons we need goals.

1) A Goal Gives Your Mind Direction.

I humorously remark that God must be very lazy.  Otherwise He wouldn’t have given his children brains that would reverse engineer every problem given to it.  And our brains are remarkable at reverse engineering everything.

My three-year-old daughter saw me hide the cookies on top of the refrigerator.  I was satisfied at how far the treats were from my little girl’s tummy.  She wasn’t.  One day I came home from work only to walk into the kitchen and see my daughter sitting on top of the refrigerator enjoying her well-earned treat.  How the heck did she do that?

The three year old body pushed her high chair to the counter.  Climbed up the high chair onto the counter then continued climbing to get on top the refrigerator. 

I learned two things.  My daughter understood directing thought better than me and she didn’t just want a cookie.  She NEEDED a cookie.  She didn’t suddenly become smarter.  The kitchen didn’t change.  Her objective gave all the objects in the kitchen meaning.

Anyone who has had more month than money knows how quickly a need can redirect their thoughts.  We quickly avoid thinking about drive-through coffee and start thinking about rationing gas.

Let’s up the stakes.  You and your spouse create a goal to pay off your house.  Your mind barely considers buying drive-through coffee.  That five dollars could go on the principal.

2) A Goal Gives You Ownership of Your Life.

In my mid-forties I experienced a tragedy.  I was instantly a single dad with a six-year-old.  The tragedies didn’t stop coming that year.  My insurance company sued me.  One of my work vans was stolen with all my ceiling equipment in it.  A major client went bankrupt.  On top of that I was very restricted on scheduling work without any babysitters.  I lost so much that year.  Lets look at what I gained.

Ownership.

As a praying man it is only natural for me to ask God what I was expected to grow through.  He always answers with a yes or a no or a,  “I need you in a better place.”  And what place is that?

“Teacher.”

Okay.  I’m a teacher.  For months I didn’t have any success with schools and organizations with respect to teacher projects—not even a Sunday school teacher.  For seven months.  I finally asked God, what am I supposed to do if schools aren’t hiring.  God answered.

“Start your own.”

That was it.  I’m a Dean/Professor/Principal.  I declared I had a school.  I also declared I had no textbooks.  

“Write one.”  

I was given a direction, but it’s up to me to take responsibility.  That was the first day I owned my time.  I mean, I realllllllly owned my time.  I charged my wall clock interest if you must know.

With my last $350 I had on a credit card I bought an iPad mini 4 and a Bluetooth keyboard.  I worked nights and my daughter went to school in the day.  My hobby at this stage was being exhausted.  When am I going to find time to write?  Turns out, everywhere.

The iPad mini barely fit in my inside pocket, but it did.  When my daughter went to a friend’s house, the three of us, (me, my daughter and my iPad) would go.  I would write at their dinner table during a scrap of time.  If my daughter went to a sports meet, my iPad would join us.  Doctor’s waiting room, cheer practice, before work all became MY TIME.  I owned those throwaway minutes. 

They didn’t have a goal to write a textbook.  I did.  So I must own MY time.  I am a teacher at a school and the school demanded textbooks. What am I going to tell myself, I couldn’t because I was a little exhausted?  That’s not in my character. 

You can only build the goal into the life you have.  It took me three years to write the two books in the Goal-Getter series.  (Brilliant material for sure). I shudder to think what would my life be like if I didn’t take ownership.  Really, really shudder.

What can you do with that time?  Work on your golf game?  Organize recipe entries?  Study two pages on a school project?  Or, my favorite, read.  That is YOUR TIME too.  

A proper goal gives you OWNERSHIP over time and especially your life.

3) Accomplishing a Goal Builds Self-Esteem.

Nothing makes a person walk taller than accomplishing a goal.  The bigger the goal the taller the walk.  I can do it, doesn’t carry as much water as, look what I’ve done.

Accomplishment: The completion of a worthwhile goal that adds evidence of capability to your character.

I went to university.  Even got a degree.  The sad thing is I was getting a degree from a college where I didn’t respect the dean.  She had no tech background so some days she would meet me and glow over the work.  Other days that same meeting would be filled with criticism and lordship.  And for the life of me I couldn’t discern the difference.  In short, her critiques were meaningless.  A praise would have as much weight as an insult.  Zero.  But the students understood tech.  This was early 1990s and being able to put animation in a video presentation was awesome.  However, the university only had one computer available for thirty students.

One of my many blessings was securing an internship from the Satellite Education Network.  A school agency with all the tools of a state-of-the-art broadcast studio.  The deal was from nine-to-five I did everything they wanted.  But from five-to-nine I had free use of the hardware…including the special effects software.

I chose to do my senior project on the NAFTA treaty and spent dozens of hours editing the report on their equipment.  Ninety percent of that time was just learning the software.  I did.  My project was done so well that the local news used it to explain why conservative Rush Limbaugh and liberal President Clinton were on the same side.  It was a magnificent report if I do say so myself.  The dean didn’t agree.  I was reprimanded and my grade reflected her disappointment.

She didn’t appreciate the after-hours weeks I put in.  To create video I studied tech manuals that in many ways read better upside down.  I animated video footage of Mexicans becoming trading partners with Canadians.  I missed dinners and breakfasts.  And if she did, it probably wouldn’t mean much anyway.  The graduate students saw my work and gave me an “attaboy” pat on the back.  At the time I was sure they were politely being encouraging.

The project was done and I earned my graduation.  It was that ceremony where I learned our lesson number 3.

My name was called and as I went to claim my degree, the evidence of my late night work was put before me.  In the silence before the next name was called, my college erupted in applause.  Applause.  That’s when I realized I wasn’t in a vacuum.  They saw the hard work.  They knew the subject matter.  They appreciated my writing.  After a semester of work, these few seconds of applause between names made me realize something.  I earned respect.  That ceremony no one else got applause from my college.  Just me. Until I saw (heard) this evidence, I did not see that I did something good, but my classmates sure wanted me two.

It was two inches.  I grew two inches that day.  My self-esteem has grown more since.

Look what I/You have done.

How much height is hidden in your past accomplishments?  How tall will your future accomplishments make you?  Your character awaits.

4) A Goal Changes What You See.

Events that were meaningless to me yesterday are priceless today. 

The first company that made money for me was my restaurant cleaning company.  I set a goal to close three major clients in 12 months.

I just left a world of computer chips and servers to walk into custodial sales. You know how much computer experience means to a facilities manager?  I don’t know either because they refused to return my call when I led with it. Techno knowledge meant nothing in the sanitation world.  I had no credibility.

I worked for another cleaning company for $10 an hour.  I learned two things while working there.  What dirt looked like and what cleaning language looked like.  It was the beginning of new eyes.  Cleaning eyes if you will.

I sold my cleaning services in the daytime and worked for him at night.  For eight months I didn’t get much traction with my company.  But eight months and a day the results started pouring in.

What happened on day one of the ninth month?  Breakthrough.  Just like the moment between learning to ride a bike and being a bicyclist.  I learned.  I, me, myself, mwah, saw the world from a janitor’s, ahem, sanitation engineer’s point of view.  I knew the walk, talk, and jargon of cleaning.  

Business is a skill too.  I studied business.  Robert Kiyosaki’s books taught me the skills and the language of business.  I can now see a cleaning route as profit and loss and not just what time we get home.  If it takes longer to finish a job, so what, as long as it fits in the profit and loss.  If it wasn’t, make hard changes.

My new eyes were recognizing and qualifying decision makers.  Did you know that many people like to think they are decision makers in a company?  The momentum started in that ninth month and by the twelfth month we had three…count ‘em, three major clients.

As a businessman, I see the world as a place that needs to be served.  I recognize the more I served, the more I received. Decision makers recognize that.  As an employee I saw the world that needed to serve me.  Decision makers also recognize this.

5) A Goal Gives You a Reason to Move Forward.

My brothers and sisters didn’t graduate university.  My mom and dad didn’t have university in their cards.  As far as I can tell, their brothers and sisters didn’t crack any college books either.  I accepted long before any money was saved that I needed to get a college degree.  

I was going to graduate.

I needed nine more credit hours to graduate from college.  Nine more before I can credentially participate in the job market.  And that fall I was lining myself up with an internship with Mount Prospect Cable Company.  I was stoked.  I got a thumbs up from the dean of my college.  The interview was well received and all I needed was a start date.

A letter finally came from Mount Prospect Cable Company.  A rejection letter.  Don’t call us and we won't call you.  Except this letter came a week into the school year.  All cheap housing was gone.  All level four classes were taken.  And School was 5 hours away by train.

I was going to graduate.

I quit my job that night and got on a train with two bags of clothes and maybe a calculator.  This was your proverbial TV character showing up in a town he has no business in.

I arrived Saturday afternoon and crashed on my friend’s floor for two evenings anticipating a chaotic Monday morning.  

Monday morning:  I bee-lined to the college and made some time with the dean.  She got me three generic classes.  That would give me my nine hours, but this is college, I’m paying thousands of dollars and just getting by didn’t feel right but what am I going to do?  

I stumbled.

On the way out of the building I stumbled into the director of the coveted Satellite Education Network.  He was conversing with a colleague on how they lost their intern……….Intern?  “I’m an intern.”  The meeting couldn’t have been more awkward if I was walking on my hands.  But my confidence landed me that awesome awesome internship that minute.

Reason to move forward.

I HAD to go to University.  I had to graduate.  I had to move forward.  My dream of being the first graduate of the great Phillips clan could not be denied.  

The obvious option was to throw myself on a train and pursue my higher education face-to-dean.  The worst thing to happen was I would get easy classes to graduation.  But, darn-it, I ended up with the best schedule with the best internship and completing the best senior project.

A goal gives you reason to move forward.  Especially if you don’t want to disappoint the family.

Conclusion:

These are five great reasons to set goals.  That is the key to unlock any door.

Let’s re-look at the Adult-Role-Playing station.  What door is your imagination pushing you towards?  To open that door requires a goal.  Open that door and step through.  Then we can all be blessed to learn from your story.

You are awesome

Timothy Phillips

Sunlit-Leadership.com