Program Your Mind

Or

How to REALLY REALLY REALLY get yourself to do what you want to do

June 27, 2026

"For as he thinks in his heart, so is he." — Proverbs 23:7

I’m a gamer! Proud card carrying member. I love my games and back in the day the games loved me. If they didn’t they wouldn’t have given me sooooo much enjoyment. Games that gave my imagination top-billing moved to the front of the pack. My game machine of choice was the xBox 360. At any time you could hear me clashing swords in Oblivion, or running through rubble in Call of Duty (pick your version), and the creme-de-la-creme, Red Dead Redemption, the cowboy game to end all cowboy games. When all my parenting and husbanding duties were done you could find me in my office activating a controller in anticipation of running through an open world…Unless.

Unless those dreaded words glowed on my tv, “Updating”.

That’s so frustrating.

And then it hit me.

My Xbox wasn’t broken. It was being improved. Every update fixed weaknesses I couldn’t even see. Security. Stability. Performance.

That’s exactly what happens when we intentionally upgrade our thinking. We need updates too.

The Twelve-Inch Bridge.

How can two people read the same book, attend the same seminar, hear the same sermon, and yet only one of them changes? With all factors the same, I can conclude that the information wasn’t the factor, knowledge wasn’t the factor, even motivation wasn’t the factor—Both parties wanted to learn. But only a few took that twelve-inch bridge from the head to their heart.

That person didn’t just hear the lesson. That person believed the information applied to them. They saw themselves in the lesson.

They didn’t simply hear the truth. They personalized the truth. They affirmed the truth. They repeated it until it became part of who they were.

Those affirmations became the bridge from their head to their heart, and, eventually, the world.

Affirmations are intentional thoughts repeated often enough that they begin changing the way you see yourself. And once your identity changes...your behavior will follow.

Let me emphasize that again.

Once your identity changes, your behavior will follow.

A victor will have solutions thinking. A victim will have justification thinking. That path of thinking will directly affect their actions. Thoughts give birth to behavior.

The World Is Already Programming You

It’s what the world does best.

One of the greatest mistakes we make is believing we're neutral. We're not. Not even close. Every day we are being programmed by professionals.

By television.
By social media.
By advertisements.
By friends.
By criticism.
By fear.
By our past.
By our failures.
By the labels people placed on us years ago.
By our self-talk.

By the time most people reach twenty-five years old, they’ve traded their dreams for explanations. They bow to the land of average in the hopes of being average; albeit, just a bit better.

Instead of asking, "What could my life become?"

they begin surrendering to, "I guess this is just who I am."

That's programming. Whether intentional or accidental, your mind is constantly collecting evidence about who you believe yourself to be. Either we are reinforcing old programs or justifying rejection of unfamiliar ones. The only defense we have is realizing we have a choice.

Here’s the truth. If you don't intentionally write your own program...the world (and lots of relatives) will gladly write one for you.

How important is that decision? God has something very direct to say “…and he who rules his spirit is better than he who takes a city.” (Proverb 16:32). According to Proverbs, learning to rule your own thoughts is even more important than ruling a city. That’s not poetry that’s the truth. So what must we do?

We Must Bombard Ourselves

We need to bombard ourselves with positive thoughts. I don't mean casual reminders. I mean Mother-Truckin- &-Uber-Drivin’ BOMBARD!

Think like a military commander. They will use:

Battleships

Aircraft

Marines

Satellites

& even Spiked Clubs

Everything aimed toward one objective. Your goal. Your want, need, desire, or dissatisfaction.

Why? Because the world already has and will continue to do so. It is its job.

Negative thoughts weren’t whispered into our lives.

They were repeated.

Repeated by failure.

Repeated by embarrassment.

Repeated by comparison.

Repeated by criticism.

Eventually…

We start repeating them ourselves.

What do you think that behavior looks like?

Simple observation reveals that most kids live within 10 miles of their parents home. Most people earn the average of their five closest friends. People’s occupations are relatively the same as those people who influenced them the most. We call them parents.

Let’s get those positive thoughts on that bridge so we can celebrate desirable behaviors.

Every Habit Begins as a Thought

The Destiny Flowchart flows as follows

Thought > Action > Habit > Character > Destiny (Identity)

Before someone becomes a runner...they first imagine becoming a runner. Then they put on running shoes. Then they run once. Then they run again and again and again. Eventually that person exclaims, "I'm a runner!"

Notice the order. Thought. Action. Habit. Identity.

When we have a thousand thoughts on a subject an action almost automatically takes place. Repeat that action enough times and muscle memory takes over. For example; If a person hangs around runners at the mall, reads running magazines, reviews best running techniques on social media, marries someone who runs and buys stock in a shoe company; there is a very good chance they may go running. In fact they may run till it becomes a habit and later identify as a runner.

Why do so many fail at changing behavior?

What usually happens is that most go straight to habits by skipping thoughts and action.

Tell me if this sounds familiar. A person at work changes their diet to lose weight and in a few weeks they go back to their old ways. What happened; or, better yet, what didn’t happen? They didn’t have a foundation of thoughts to fall back on when stress hits them. The only thoughts they had were the thoughts that created their old behavior.

Everything begins with what we repeatedly think.

I have a stack of 40-50 affirmation cards I read 3-5 times a day (or more!). These cards are specific to me in the behaviors I need to master to receive the goal. From time-to-time my affirmations needed to be updated. I have rewritten cards when better wording entered my thoughts.

Chicago has one of the most beautiful skylines in the world. Each building being thought up, planned, and blueprinted before the materials, labor, and structure get pulled together. You are that skyscraper. Your affirmation cards are the blueprint.

Writing an affirmation cards can be done in three styles; good, better, or best. Let’s go for best.

The Five Essentials of an Effective Affirmation

After years of teaching Goal-Getter principles, I've found that the strongest affirmations contain five ingredients.

Each one activates a different part of your thinking.

1. Identity — Who Are You Becoming?

Don't describe who you are today. Describe who you will be. Tell the truth in advance. Speak the person you are to become. Write of the strong person in your imagination.

Instead of saying, "I hope I'm disciplined." Command, "I am a disciplined leader."

Instead of saying, “I get to all appointments on time.” Demand, “I always arrive 15 min early to all my appointments.”

Instead of saying, “I will eat better.” Knowingly repeat, “I chose my foods carefully to reflect an energetic athlete.”

All of these are thoughts. Can you can feel which thoughts nudge action?

2. Action — What Do You Actually Do?

Describe observable actions. Not, "I am successful." Instead, "I consistently finish what I begin."

"I encourage people."

"I read every day."

"I pray before making decisions."

Action creates evidence. Evidence supports belief. Belief strengthens identity.

3. Superlative — Remove the Maybe

The brain thinks in pictures. Pink elephant. Lawn mowing. Thirsty for a glass of water. Each of those items conjure a picture in your mind.

Imagine a mountain. You see a mountain.

Imagine a pizza. You see a Pizza.

Imagine your grandma. You see your grandma.

Now imagine “Maybe.” Nothing.

Exactly. You can’t. The brain doesn’t know what to do with maybe or "I'll try", or, "I hope", or “Someday".

Those words create hesitation not a picture.

Instead, always use decisive language.

Always.

Consistently.

Daily.

Faithfully.

The goal isn't perfection. The goal is conviction. You're telling your mind, "This is who I choose to become."

4. Emotion — Make It Come Alive

Facts educate. Emotion motivates.

When you read your affirmation...feel it…Imagine it…See it.

Maybe your emotion is excitement.

Maybe it's gratitude.

Maybe it's holy determination.

Maybe you're simply tired of living below your potential.

Emotion is the glue that helps thoughts stick. Without emotion, affirmations become memorization. With emotion, they become transformation. Transformation is our goal. We go into much greater detail in our book, Emotion to Motion.(Sunlit-Leadership.com)

Emotion becomes fuel for your action. The stronger the emotion the quicker an action will take place. The quicker your behavior will change.

5. Purpose — Make It Bigger Than Yourself

This may be the most important piece.

If your affirmation only serves you it will eventually lose power through boredom. But when your growth serves others your motivation deepens. We all want to steward more money, but if you back that need for more money to a bigger source—now we are talking change. “Lord, teach me to attract $20,000 a month. This money will allow me to serve three generations of family to experience the blessings in Your kingdom.” Or, “I am a skilled pianist that always makes music that makes my mom smile.”

If God is to big to fit in then serve your family. “I am very skilled at choosing easily digestible foods. Eating healthy is my new skill. My family needs a healthy Dad. “

Ask yourself:

How does this affirmation help my family?

How does this affirmation glorify God?

How does this affirmation serve people?

Finding a purpose is difficult. I know. Finding a purpose outside yourself is ten times harder. The more you work at it the easier it is. I know—I even wrote an affirmation on it.

“My purpose is clear to me because it is revealed through the people I attract and ease of serving those people. My purpose exists even though at times the world asks me to fulfill my responsibilities. The security in my purpose leads others to the security in their purpose.”

I flowed from a failed student to a failed engineer to a successful salesman. My affirmations were always updated to keep up with the changing me and my changing environment. I was in charge of my identity.

Purpose transforms ambition into stewardship. When your dream blesses others, persistence becomes much easier.

The Formula

This is the exact formula I use for writing down my affirmations on index cards.

I am [identity + superlative] who [action].

I feel [emotion] as I live this out because it allows me to better serve [God, people, family].

Simple.

Clear.

Repeatable.

More importantly...

believable.

Example 1

I am a disciplined and joyful leader who consistently encourages others and finishes what I begin. I feel grateful, confident, and energized as I live this out because it allows me to better serve God, my family, and everyone entrusted to my care.

Example 2

I am a consistently faithful husband, father, and leader who invests my time, words, and energy into my family’s spiritual, emotional, and physical well-being. I feel grateful, confident, and at peace as I lead them with wisdom because it allows me to honor God by loving my family as Christ first loved me.

Notice how every piece works together.

Identity.

Action.

Superlative.

Emotion.

Purpose.

Nothing is wasted.

Identity Follows Obedience—(It Always Has)

Act first.

Repeat it.

Live it. Wash and repeat.

Now your mind accepts your new thought. "This must be who I am." Confidence is the reward for obedience.

Let’s create that powerful cycle with your affirmation cards by

reading them...

acting on them...

reading them again...

acting again...about 3-5 times a day.

Eventually your heart begins believing what your mouth has been saying and you will have your own twelve inch bridge.

How Long Before I See Results?

Great question. Some behaviors happen quickly. It’s probably because you have been thinking positively about it for a long time and your properly written affirmation made it solid.

A few are lifetime achievement awards. I was gifted with a father who taught hard work. The same man cursed my exuberance. I am a natural influencer/pioneer but my family thought it best to not draw attention to ourselves and aggressively created an environment that did just that. Decades of negative programming was met with four years of positive programming. With mentorship, it took four solid years of taking affirmations seriously.

Think about installing a major software update. Some improvements are visible the moment the computer restarts. Other improvements only show themselves weeks later when you encounter a problem that no longer exists. Your mind works the same way. Some affirmations produce immediate action. Others quietly rewrite your reactions until one day you realize you've become someone different.

Final Thoughts

Your mind is already being programmed.

The only question is...Who's writing the script?

If you don't intentionally choose your thoughts, someone else will. Write affirmations that describe the person God is calling you to become. Read them every day. Act on them immediately—even in small ways.

Keep repeating them until your thoughts become actions, your actions become habits, your habits become character, and your character begins producing the life you imagined.

We don’t think twice about updating our phones.

We don’t hesitate to update our computers.

We gladly install new software into our game systems because we expect them to perform better afterward.

Too many adults are trying to live adult lives with high school programming.

Start the update today.

One affirmation.

One action.

One day at a time. Because every great life is built one thought at a time. I remember that every time I see a city skyline.

Download the affirmation card template I use every day at

Sunlit-Leadership.com

copyright 2026 Phillips Enterprises Associates, LLC

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